the end of another summer

School starts in two days for the girls.
I am not ready.
They are not ready.

But, still. It’s upon us.
In the past, I was eager for school to start back at the end of Summer.

Not because I was ready to ship my kids off to school, but because it was so stressful to juggle childcare and school and house projects and fun time, too. I was always exhausted and ready for a routine so I could plan what was next.

But this Summer? I feel like I have been robbed of a proper summer.
We have had a strange few months; surgeries and me being out of work. It was nice to be home with them this summer…but I want more. There were so many things I wanted to do this summer; but time & my ability didn’t quite allow much of it. 
I have enjoyed hanging out with my budding sarcastic teens. We’ve bonded over watching television (a lot of it, while I was immobile), laughing, freaking out over bumps in the night after watching horror films, and just being around each other ALL THE TIME.
They are funny and sarcastic and silly and honest and so intelligent. I knew all of these things, but I have really enjoyed this time we’ve had without all the chaos of homework and after school activities. I’ve just really enjoyed them.
I’m just not ready for the chaos, emotions & routine of the school year.

I’m not ready to give up our time together.

I’m not ready for any of it.

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