the Lanfords

But this time, it’s for Carys!

I took Carys to the ENT yesterday afternoon, fully aware that we would probably leave with a recommendation for a second set of ear tubes. She had ear tubes placed in January 2008. The first tube came out on it’s own a little over a year later. She immediately started having trouble with the ear. But it wasn’t a constant problem.
Then, the other tube was removed this past Summer. Within a month, she was in the doctor’s office with an ear infection.
She has had one at least once every month and half since then.
Poor girl.
We’ve been through all the antibiotics, and even started from square one with her meds.
Nothing helps. It seems it takes the edge off the infection, but doesn’t quite kill it!
About two weeks ago, Carys had a nasty little ear infection that perforated her ear drum. She has a very high pain tolerance and doesn’t complain until something really hurts…obviously.
The ear drum is healing well and she passed a hearing test with flying colors — but she still has a lot of fluid in both ears.

I knew ear tubes would be brought up again.
But I didn’t even think that the surgeon would recommend removing her adenoids, too. I should have thought about it, knowing that adenoids and ear problems often go hand-in-hand.

Let’s just say that Carys is less than thrilled about having surgery.
She is excited, however, to know that she’ll be on a strict soft food diet for a few days after surgery.
“Mommy…is ice cream a soft food? Because I think it is. But not broccoli.”

+++

Tomorrow, Chad & I make the much anticipated voyage to Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center.
We are packing a bag, just in case we need it.
It would not surprise me if he stayed a night or two and had a little surgery himself on Friday.
I’m not hoping that happens, but I’m going to be prepared.
Nothing surprises me these days, especially the outcome of these trips to Winston-Salem.

I was surprised, however, to learn that Chad had a seizure last night while I was at a business meeting.
He has been enjoying leisurely strolls through the neighborhood lately. Sometimes I go with him, but he’s usually fine on his own and agrees to stay on our street for the most part.
Last night though, he had a seizure at the beginning of his walk. Thankfully, he hadn’t gotten far from home when it hit and two of our neighbors were able to help him back home. My mom was here with the girls and was able to fend off  two very inquisitive little girls.
He wasn’t able to speak or walk for quite some time afterward, and I hate that I wasn’t here. I know that I can’t do anything to prevent or help him – but he’s also never had one when in the presence of anyone but me or medical staff. I just like to see it for myself; to judge how “bad” it was, if that makes sense.
I should have known that another seizure would be coming since the last one wasn’t that bad, at all.
He’s feeling okay today, but is tired and has a more pronounced headache.

+++

I’ll probably update frequently tomorrow, as it will be a long day and I won’t have much to do besides wait for test results and appointments.

“Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.” — Hebrews 11:1

Today was a special day.
I had lunch with Care Bear at school, and then I gleefully fulfilled my duties as guest reader for C’s kindergarten class.
Carys has been so excited all week – she couldn’t stand the suspense.
I kept hearing “Is today the day? Or tomorrow? Which day!?!?“; a constant little loop of a conversation.
She picked out the books she wanted me to take to school – and then changed her mind a katrillion times. Or maybe just three times. But it felt like a katrillion.

It was a sweet moment. And I made so many new little friends, too.
It also opened my eyes. I’ve been so worried about how affectionate Carys is.
Don’t get me wrong – she’s a sweet, caring, delightful little girl. But, sometimes, I think she’s a little too friendly. A little too quick to hug & kiss EVERYONE.
But today, I discovered many kindergartners are that way.
I’m not raising a Little Lolita, after all.

That, by itself, was a great day.

Then afterward, it was a normal day for me.
I ran some errands.
Checked off some items from my own honey-do list.
Picked up some groceries.
Got home and unloaded everything
I then made my way to the mailbox.

It was raining.
Not fun. I almost decided to wait until tomorrow to check the mail.
I convinced myself there was nothing but bills and offers for free trial gym memberships.
And those can wait another day. Or skip themselves to the trash. Either option was fine with me.

But I finally checked the mailbox.
Amidst the junk mail, I instantly saw an envelope from Social Security.
And then another.

Oh. Dear.

There was an instant knot in my stomach.
My perfectly fine, perfectly normal, perfectly good day came to a crashing halt.
My stomach ulcers started to revolt.

I pulled both envelopes to the top of the pile.
And thought for a minute.
Would they really send me TWO denial letters?
Well, yes. I bet they would.
And really? It has only been about 3 weeks since I turned all of the paperwork in.
The letters were probably requesting more information.
Or denying us benefits.
Or … whatever.
It was too early for good news.

I’ve never been one for surprises. And those little envelopes had a shock inside.
Could be good. Could be bad. I had no idea which.

After nearly fifteen seconds that felt like a mind-jarring eternity, I couldn’t stand the suspense any longer.
I tore into the heftier letter first, convinced it was chock full of information for filing an appeal for a denied application.

Imagine my sheer surprise -and instant gratefulness, humility and thankfulness- when I read the opening statement.
“Dear Chad L. Lanford,
You are entitled to monthly disability benefits beginning May 2010.”

You cannot imagine the weight that disappeared from my heavy shoulders. In an instant.
I almost ran back from the mailbox.
Mostly because it was raining.
But also because I wanted to scream, yell, hoot & holler (that’s what Southern girls do, after all)!
I got teary eyed, just in time for Cailyn to see.
“What’s the matter, Mama?”, she asked.
“Oh – these are happy tears, baby!”
She hasn’t heard of happy tears. Or at least, not recently enough for her to remember.

Oh, were they ever tears of happiness!
Tears of tremendous joy.
Tears of frustration solved.
Tears of anxiety remedied.
Tears of sheer thankfulness.
Tears of gratitude for a prayer I prayed too often in the last few months.

I know so many of you have been praying for our family, and for Chad specifically.
I thank you. Each and every one of you, for the prayers you lift up for our family.
God hears us!

The girls are with Chad’s parents this weekend – I’m sure they’re getting into trouble as I type this.
I had so many things to get accomplished this weekend — and I am so excited that I got a lot of it done already!
Do you have one of those blasted cabinets chock full o’ plastic containers, tupperware, etc? I think everyone does. Although I don’t think everyone has one as crammed packed as ours.
I spent the better part of the day organizing my kitchen, and packing up TONS of containers. I have one cabinet dedicated to it now, instead of three! It feels good to get that mess out of here!
I also rearranged a few things — which Chad despises. When he realized what I was doing, he let me know I had just annoyed him. He will not remember that the pots and pans are somewhere different. But that’s okay, because he rarely cooks anyway.

I also cleaned my home office this past week.
I’m glad to say it doesn’t even look like the same little corner of our kitchen!
We’ll see how long I can keep it that way; it’s my little hub. And I throw everything on my desk, hoping to tackle it later. And then later becomes three weeks from now and one thing turns into twelve disheveled piles.
Oh well. I try.

I am just so tired of looking around at all the clutter.
One of my goals for the year is to simplify our lives. I want less stuff to mange and less things to work around.
Again…we’ll see how long it lasts.

***

I checked the mail a little bit ago. And my heart hit my feet when I pulled out three hefty envelopes from Social Security.
Gosh. They sure denied us quickly, I thought.
I weeded through the junk mail and sat those three fat envelopes on the counter.
We had a staring match.
And the envelopes won.
I ripped them open and mentally prepared myself for really bad news.
But it wasn’t.
It wasn’t really news at all.
One envelope was a copy of everything I had submitted online.
Another envelope was letting us know we didn’t qualify for something else – which I already knew.
And the last envelope was from our case examiner, who stated she was in the process of obtaining all of Chad’s medical records from his doctors. Which is great news — that was fast!

Hopefully, the next envelope I receive from them will be an approval.

***

Today, Chad got up around 1pm. He ate some oatmeal and went back to bed for a bit.
Then he got up again around 4pm and wanted some dinner.
I was in the middle of my kitchen disorganizing gala, so he did have to wait a little bit.
He ate and went back to bed. I guess he’s been up for about 3 hours today so far.

He was having trouble remembering what day it was – he knew it was Saturday, but wasn’t sure which Saturday.
He was glaring at the calendar when I asked him what he was doing.
“Trying to figure out what day it is…”
And he then decided today is January 23rd.
I told him that wasn’t right; the calendar clearly states I’ll be gone on January 23rd – and I’m here.
I let him know it was January 16.
“I think I am slowly losing my mind…”
Unfortunately, I think so, too.

Later, he let me know that Snakes on a Plane was on. We always laugh at the title of that movie because it’s a ridiculous film.
Me: “Yes, that was on the other day. Carys said those snakes didn’t look real.”
He: “Well, she’s only four. She doesn’t know.”
Me: “Four?”
He: “No, she’s five.”
Me: “Think about it again.”
He: “She’s four. No, five.”
Me: “She’s six.”
Poor guy. I hate that he is losing pieces of his memory here and there.
And I hate that he feels like he is losing his mind.

***

And it appears that out little Kindergarten Casanova has decided that he would like to be Carys’ boyfriend again after all.
Ugh.
Needless to say, my mom and I were all over that as soon as it came out of Carys’ mouth.
I’m hoping she and T will break up again very, very soon.
I’m pretty sure I’ll be talking to the teacher about it soon — and sooner if I hear anything else about kissing!

***

And I feel the need to apologize profusely for my typos lately.
I promise I can spell. My fingers just don’t always cooperate with the keyboard.
And I’m usually too tired or busy to go back & proofread it.