On August 4, 2001, I married my best friend.

I practically ran down the aisle and never looked back.
We started a beautiful life together that day.
Was our marriage perfect? Of course not…
But we were best friends who happened to be married to each other, too.

15 years?
It seemed like an eternity when I stood at the altar with my groom, exchanging vows and rings.
Now? When I look back, I don’t know how the time escaped me.

Sometimes I miss him so much I can’t breathe or think of anything else.
It’s not that I haven’t processed my grief appropriately (like some have suggested recently). It’s that grief is unpredictable. It never goes away. You just deal with it.

What makes days like today better?
Remembering the good days.
The early days.
The conversations.
The trust.
The life we built.
And then I have two little constant reminders that life is a beautiful garden, despite the thorny bits.
I thoroughly enjoy seeing the girls develop into the people they’re meant to be – and it thrills my heart when they exhibit some hint of their dad in their personalities. It’s simply amazing to see.

Carys never fails to say, “Happy anniversary, mama” on August 4th. Sweet, sweet child of mine.

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2 Responses to 15

  1. Dick and Jess Ives says:

    We continue to follow your journey. You have a talent of writing and even though it can be a little tough to read at times, we are aware of what you must still be experiencing. We know IT will continue to be a part of your family’s life forever.
    On another note, several folks from NCDOT have been asking about you and how you are, where you are and what is in your future. If you choose not to respond to that I’m sure they completely understand. By the way, more than a few still read your blogs.
    Please keep writing, at this time it’s the only way to stay connected. We don’t forget!

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