Almost, but not quite

Remember the Grief Monster I spoke of?
He’s knocking on the door.
And I do not want to let him in.
He’s coming regardless, and I am preparing myself the best I can.

Yesterday, I received a card in the mail from the funeral home that handled Chad’s arrangements.
A “Thinking of You” card to express their sympathy as we approach the one-year mark.
I was sucker punched.
I didn’t need a reminder.

I have 8 more days.
8 more days to feel a little normal.
Almost, but not quite.

8 more days until.
It’s been almost a year.
Almost, but not quite.

I’m fine.
I’m fine.
I’m fine.
Almost, but not quite.

They tell me this milestone is the hardest.
I have to disagree.
The first day was the hardest.
And then every day after.
They say, “It gets easier with each passing day.”
Almost, but not quite.

It seems I live a double life most days.
One life where I’m on a ever-healing journey.
One life where I’m almost content with myself.
Almost, but not quite.

I’ve made it.
I’ve survived.
A whole year.

But not quite.

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6 Responses to Almost, but not quite

  1. Cathy Bunce says:

    I understand.  My sister passed away Nov. 15, of last year after a 13 year battle with IT. My prayer is you continue to heal and have a full life and eventually find another love.  You light up the world with your sunshine and your blog has helped me more than you'll ever know in dealing with my own grief.

  2. Cuz Enoch says:

    I love you Skye!

  3. Victoria B says:

    You and the girls are in my prayers all the time. I can't tell you that it gets easier but I have looked at your pictures and I've read everything you've ever posted. I'm learning from you. I'm learning to hold on tight, not to get upset over the little things and to enjoy life and each other. You are one strong lady, even on those days you don't feel it, you are. I know you already know this I just wanted to share with you that I look up to you and I think you are AMAZING!!

    Hugs & Kisses

  4. Cbwatson says:

    Skye ….love you girl.. Thinking and praying for you and the girls!

  5. AprilL says:

    ((((hugs)))) You are an amazing woman. I love you and the girls. If you need anything, just hollar.

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