Couldn’t make this stuff up if i tried! (update at end)

I was hoping for a restful and uneventful end to our week.
But. No.

Chad is doing well. He is still extremely tired, which is to be expected. He says he feels well (”normal” for him, anyway).

Yesterday afternoon, Cailyn came down with a fever. She was very tired. Her nose was running a bit — so I knew it was a cold coming on.
But. Wait.

Yesterday marked the tenth day that she was bitten by a deer tick. The tick was probably there for about 18 hours, maybe a little more, before we discovered it. I removed it with tweezers and I think I removed the whole thing. Deer ticks are so tiny that it can be hard to tell. Later that day, we found another tick on her collar bone, but it was much easier to remove.

Today…Cailyn has been complaining of flu-like symptoms. Fever. Chills. Headache.
And she has this on her back, right between her shoulder blades where the tick was embedded.

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She has an appointment with her pediatrician at 11 this morning. She is feel so puny and I just hate that such a small little bug can wreak so much havoc on her little body.

I will update when I know what’s going on with her. I’m trying to stop Googling things about deer tick bites because it’s making me sick to my stomach.

Updated Saturday, 5/15 at 10:30am:
Cailyn was so lethargic at the doctor’s office yesterday that she didn’t make a sound or even close her eyes during the blood draw. They put the tourniquet on her tiny little arm and I was shocked that she didn’t freak out. I knew she felt bad, but geesh! She was such a trooper through all that.

The bloodwork results won’t be back until Tuesday.
We’re told it’s unlikely that it’s Lyme’s Disease (”rare” in our area), but it could be Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever. Or, Cailyn could have just had a localized reaction the bite and the reaction is just very similar to the more serious RMSF.

In any event, Cailyn also has a raging double ear infection — and hadn’t complained about her ears at all.
Her fever was extremely hard to manage yesterday, but finally broke after I made her soak in the tub all afternoon.
It’s hovering around 99 degrees today – I’ll take it!

She is on a heavy dose of antibiotics that are playing double-duty for the ear infections and tick bite reaction/infection.
I’m supposed to take her back in on Monday so they can have another look.

Thanks for keeping my little diva in your thoughts & prayers! She is, mostly, back to her diva ways as of this morning.

Home again, home again. Jiggety Jig.

We got home Wednesday evening around 5:00.
The discharge process took all day, literally. But that’s okay — at least we are H.O.M.E.

I didn’t get to post many updates from my phone – it was just a little too challenging to do so. I couldn’t see what I was typing, so I just decided to post later (now).

Here are the events, as I have pieced them together and witnessed.
Chad, Cailyn & I were exhausted Tuesday afternoon. I laid down with Cailyn and fell asleep. I remember Chad getting up around 4:15, which is usual. Carys’ bus drops her off anywhere between 4:30 and 5pm, so he takes a stroll down our street until the bus decided to show up.
I glanced at the clock and scolded myself for falling asleep when I had so much to do. But then close my eyes because I figured ten more minutes wasn’t going to hurt anything…

I awoke to a voice in the distance, yelling something. I couldn’t quite make out what it was, but I quickly realized it was Carys. She usually sings or talks VERY loudly all the way home from the bus stop. I thought she was complaining that Chad hadn’t taken the dog to the bus stop to meet her; which has been a common complaint recently.
But. No.

She ran into my room, panicked but also calm. I’m not exactly sure how to describe the look on her face. She was crying. And she was scared. She told me, “Daddy is having a seizure in the road.” Without thinking, I leaped from the bed and ran. No time for shoes. No time for anything.
As soon as I spotted him lying in the street, my pace quickened. Automatically.
He was lying in the road, on his back. His head and most of his body were in the street. His right foot was in the neighbor’s grass.
Convulsing. Spitting.
It was bad.

The girls were both outside by now, and I was trying to shield their view as much as possible. I sat at his head, with my back facing the girls so they couldn’t see much of what was going on. I had them wait close by our mailbox so they wouldn’t see too much.

I took Chad’s elbows in the palms of my hands so he wouldn’t scrape them too badly.
I made sure his head was turned to the side.
I  placed the jacket Carys haphazardly discarded in the middle of the street underneath his head.

I noticed a large bruise and abrasion on the right side of his head. He had fallen. Maybe?
Carys didn’t see what actually happened. She was talking to him, walking a few steps ahead. When he didn’t respond to one of her questions, she turned around to see why he wasn’t paying attention to her. And then she instantly discovered why.

My brave girl says she told him “not to be scared.” And that she was “going to get help”.
Bless her heart. I feel so bad that she had to witness the beginning of such a brutal seizure and be responsible for finding help.
She did such a great job, and we are all so very, very proud of her.
Chad had been feeling normal, or he would have never gone to get Carys off the bus. He doesn’t remember much about Tuesday, but he says he doesn’t think he had any warning (aura: a feeling that a seizure is coming on); it just hit him.

Once I got to Chad, I glanced at my watch. 4:43 pm.
The minutes passed. 4:47 pm.
The seizure didn’t let up. 4:50 pm.
Normally, one of his seizures lasts a maximum of 4 minutes.
Our neighbors were on their way home from work and passed us in the street. Thankfully, they took care of the girls for me.
Another neighbor, who happened to be taking out his trash, came out to see how he could help.
After a few more minutes with no signs of relief, I asked him to call 911. Chad had been seizing for nearly 25 minutes. 5:08 pm.

The ambulance was on it’s way, but Chad’s body was still in motion.
Looking back, I don’t think it was ONE large seizure. I think it was a series of large tonic-clonic (”grand mal”) and petite seizures with no periods of rest in between. His body had a distinct pattern of seizing wildly for a few minutes, followed by less intense minutes. Then it would repeat. And repeat. And repeat.
He was in and out of consciousness, and I was scared.
As my neighbors waited in the street, I sprinted home to call Chad’s parents, my mom and grab my purse and an already-packed overnight bag. I have learned, unfortunately, to have this bag ready at all times.

The ambulance arrived and administered a nasal injection (to reach his brain quickly). Chad tried to fight this off; he didn’t like to feeling of a liquid being shot up his nose. He tried to push away the oxygen mask because he didn’t understand what was going on.

I had already moved the van closer to the ambulance so I could follow — but I forgot to grab Chad’s medicines. The EMTs said they had to go NOW and couldn’t wait for me to get the meds. I knew that I could never remember all the doses and names of the drugs, so I agreed to meet them at the hospital. They left. Chad was still seizing, although not as intensely. I was later told that Chad stopped convulsing about 2-3 minutes after they got him loaded in the ambulance.

Total seizure time was 33 minutes.
Unimaginable.

I arrive in the ER, anxious at what I would find.

On my ride there, I kept thinking about the length of the seizure and the possibility that Chad could have fallen and severely hurt himself.
After 10 minutes of seizure activity, he could have suffered serious and permanent brain damage.
He went on for so much longer than that. I was scared for him.
I had about 20 minutes (the time it took me to drive to WakeMed) to resign myself to the fact that he would have brain damage.
I was certain that his body could not have handled the stress and prolonged seizure activity.
I had to get all of these negative thoughts out of the way before I saw him in the ER.

When they let me back, I was bombarded by nurses, EMTs and social worker for information.
After the flurry of questioning was over, I finally saw that Chad was okay. He couldn’t talk. He couldn’t move his right side very well. He couldn’t squeeze my hand when I asked him to. But he did wiggle his toes and feet when I asked. He understood me!

They wheeled him back to a ER bay, away from triage. And we were placed in the EXACT same room (C-22) as his first ER trip in November 2007.
There, we waited for hours.
He gradually started to talk, but the only thing he could say was “yea”. No matter what we asked, the response was the same.
“Does your head hurt? Does your belly hurt? Does your neck hurt? All “yea” — and he was growing more frustrated when he couldn’t get the words out that he actually meant to say. He went for a CT scan to check for any active bleeding in his brain.

Later in the evening, about 11pm I guess, her started producing spontaneous sentences, but would quickly lose focus. He would latch on to a sentence and repeat it for 15-20 minutes at a time.
“Can you find me a Sprite?” Then he would get agitated when we gave him a Sprite. He didn’t want a Sprite. He wanted to use the bathroom, but couldn’t find the words to tell us.
“Why does my belly hurt?” He asked me this at least 150 times. Over and over. He was so insistent that the ER doctor sent him over for a chest x-ray, just to be safe.

The CT looked okay; there was no active bleeding. However, with no scan to compare it to, the ER doctors couldn’t say if there was tumor growth or not.
The chest x-ray showed a small amount of fluid in his right lung, where he had been complaining of intense pain. It’s very likely that he aspirated (breathed in saliva) while seizing. The medical team wasn’t too concerned about it turning into pneumonia, but did mention to keep an eye out for fever and coughing. (None to mention, thankfully!)
Chad fell while cutting the grass about two weeks ago and most likely fractured a rib. When he fell Tuesday, it’s highly likely he injured that area again; causing his severe discomfort. The x-ray didn’t reveal a break, but the technician admitted that rib fractures are hard to detect and he suspected the pain was actually from a fracture or crack. There is nothing they can really do about it, unless he punctured his lung – but that didn’t happen, so we just have to tough that part out.

When we were finally admitted and sent to a room, it was shortly after 2am Wednesday morning.
He was able to get some sleep and we was definitely feeling marginally better.
I suppose it took Chad more than 8 hours to regain his speech and gross motor functions after his seizure.

We met with the neurologist on call from our regular neurology office on Wednesday morning. He, like myself, was very hesitant to increase the dosages of the two anti-seizure medications Chad is on. These are great drugs, and they are doing what they are supposed to do; it’s highly likely that Chad will always have breakthrough seizures, no matter the dose.
We are all fairly confident that Chad’s extreme fatigue over the last year is due to the large doses of anti-convulsant medications. It wouldn’t make much sense to increase the dosages and make him more lethargic. So, the new plan is to introduce a third medication in hopes of slowly weaning him off his second medication. He should, hopefully, only be on three seizure medications for a few weeks.  If you remember, we tried this not long ago with Topamax, in hopes that it would lessen his headaches and seizure activity. It didn’t really help, so we discontinued it. This new drug, Lactimal, is supposed to reduce seizures AND help Chad think more clearly. Wouldn’t that be fabulous? If he could get rid of the fogginess AND get some energy back?
It’s what we hope for.

Right now, we have a plan to meet with Chad’s regular neurologist at the end of the month.

Next week, we’ll be busy:
Blood draw on Monday.
Chad will be having PRK (a follow-up laser eye adjustment) on Tuesday.
Follow-up Wednesday.
Portrait session Thursday.
Nothing on Friday. But I’m sure that will change.

Thank you, as always, for your constant prayers. I could feel all of you with us during the chaos on Tuesday and Wednesday and I just appreciate each of you caring so much for our family.
I will keep you posted, but we are hoping there will be nothing to report for a while.

16 hours later

E finally got into a room at 2am. W barely slept…e don’t have a door, just a curtain. It is so loud!

I was extremely concerned last night, as any seizure over 10 minutes can be harmful to Chad’s brain functions. It took him a very long time to regain his ability to talk coherently. This is not really surprising because he seized for so long (33 minutes).
Around midnight, h started talking pretty well but was having issues with word recall.
This morning, he is exhausted but more like himself.

The neurologist on call from our regular office just came to speak with us. He & I are both hesitant to go higher on Chad’s current medication dosages. The tw anti-seizure meds are the best for him, but they are already on high doses and they are contributing t his chronic lethargy.

I. Apologize fr any gross grammar errors. Posting a blog update is quite challenging on my phone.

Chad in the er

Chad suffered a massive seizure today. After 20 minutes I has our neighbor call 911.
Total seizure time was 33 minutes.

We are at WakeMed in th ER. Chad is having a CT scan now.
He hit his head hard in the road when he fell.
I will update when I can.

Senior Portraits: Adrinne B. & Colton A.

Today I had the pleasure of photographing the beautiful Adrinne and her boyfriend, Colton.
Adrinne is graduating from high school next month, and Colton is graduating from college next week.

We ventured to downtown Wendell and a farm in Lizard Lick, NC.
Despite fighting with the wind, it was a beautiful day and we got some awesome captures!

Here are a few of my favorite shots from today – enjoy! If you’d like to see more, go to my photography website by clicking here.
Many thanks to Adrinne and Colton, a sweet, sweet couple.

Congratulations on your upcoming graduations.

Adrinne 12

Adrinne 7

Adrinne 11

Weight Lifting

Did you know I was a weight lifter?
I am.

Seriously.

You can stop snickering now…

Yea, yea. I know you’re thinking, “She sure doesn’t look like a weight lifter…

Well.
I don’t lift traditional weights.

Since August 4, 2001, I have been lifting the marriage weight. And man, is that ever tough work!
I juggled the weights of new home ownership and fresh-from-college-now-I-have-a-real-job weights that same year.

Since Carys was born in 2003, and then Cailyn in 2006, I have lifted the weight of motherhood.
Sometimes those little blue-eyed, blond-haired weights are heavier than I could have ever imagined.

As if those weights weren’t enough, I added the diabetic weight in 2006. Phooey!

Then, with Chad’s surprising diagnosis of brain cancer and the discovery of IT in 2007, I have added way more weights that I would like.

The emotional, physical and financial weights of living a life with two young daughters, a husband with a devastating disease, diabetes and all the other stuff….well, it’s almost too much for me to handle at times.

I would look at other people in my life and wonder how they seem to lift similar weights so effortlessly.
I just couldn’t understand how they were able to build a positive emotional workout while I was struggling to lift the daily weights of life and was often out of breath from sheer frustration and exhaustion.

People often ask me how I juggle it all.
And the answer is simple. And it’s no secret.
I do my best. And God handles the rest.

When I sense that I cannot handle one more possible thing in my life, God shows me that I can.
Sometimes, He adds more for me to juggle. And He teaches me that I can handle anything.
I can do it. I can do anything.
And you can, too.

The weights I lift on a daily basis can be tricky; true.
And sometimes I do wonder how easy life would be without such struggles and hardships.
But then I always come to the same conclusion; everyone has weights in their life.
Every single person has something that they struggle to contain or let go of; it’s just the way life is.
And if you think my weights are heavier than anyone else’s…well, that’s not true.
If you have a weight in your life, whether it be illness, unemployment, depression – whatever, you don’t have to lift it alone.

At Chad’s fundraiser, we had the privilege of witnessing a great weight being plucked from our lives.
I’m not sure if I was reaching a breaking point, or if we were just “due” some good news, but a huge weight has been lifted from our family. I can not tell you the immediate calmness and security I have felt since that day. To see all the loving and comforting faces, smiles and tears…it’s taken me some time to process it all.

People are so good to us; and we are so thankful.
We give back whenever we can and we appreciate all of you who did the same.

In the past eleven nights, I have slept more soundly and peacefully than I have in a long, long time.

Thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you.

We have been given an immediate release of stress.
We can breathe again, a little easier at least.
The weight has been lifted, and I thank God that He has allowed us to be a part of such an overwhelming  testimony of what can be provided when you trust Him.

He is the Ultimate Weight Lifter.
And I am so grateful that He carries our load.

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Quite Smitten

Oh. My. Sweetness.

I let Josie out this morning before the girls got up. When she was done with her business outside, she leisurely strolled through the kitchen. Then, as if she instantly remembered the girls, she made a mad dash for the end of the hallway where their bedrooms are.

Cailyn’s door was open, so Josie dove onto her bed first; her little nubby tail was electric! She sniffed the bed and was extremely disappointed that Cai wasn’t there. (Cailyn has been having nightmares and is scared of monsters all of a sudden, so she often ends up in bed with her sister).
Josie quickly realized she needed to go to the other bedroom; and she leaped onto the bed so happily. They were awakened by kisses and Josie love. Cailyn was giddy. Carys took a little longer, but she was soon awake and doling out hugs and kisses to her new little best friend.

At night, Josie paces from each of the girls’ bedrooms to check on them.
I hate having to put her in her crate at night when she looks so cozy cuddled up on one of their beds with them.

Josie was just laying there this morning, rolled over on her back with her feet in the air and tongue wagging as fast as her tail.
And I thought, “Yes. This is what was missing.”
Seems a little silly, I know.
But I genuinely forgot how good it feels to have a dog. Their constant companionship and love; it’s just so comforting.
And everyone seems so much happier.
All thanks to a scrappy little 13-pound rescue Jack Russell.

Busy weekend

On Friday, Carys had her adenoids removed and her second set of ear tubes placed.
Hopefully, we can ward off those pesky ear infections for a while!
She has felt well all weekend, but started feeling a little puny this afternoon. I think it has all finally caught up with her.
And I bet it doesn’t “help” that she’s been screaming at her sister.
I’m undecided if she will go to school tomorrow.
Part of me thinks she may be feeling a little worse today because she knows she has to go back to school tomorrow…but I would hate to send her if she genuinely felt bad.
We’ll play it by ear.

On Saturday, Chad & I took the girls to Clemmons State Park to feed the fish and turtles. We had a moldy loaf of bread, so we had to find something to do with it…
We walked a bit, but I really didn’t want to stress Carys out.
Then a trip to WalMart — I swear I should just live in a tent in the parking lot.
There is always something I forget or miss; and I make a list every time I go. I don’t get it.
It’s a like a retail black hole.
(Ugh. And as I type this, I realize I forgot bread. Again.)

I have been grilling Chad for a few weeks now about getting a dog.
Truth be told, I miss having one around. I am a cat person. And a dog person. I like both. Equally.

I knew the girls would be thrilled, and so very excited.
Chad? Not so much.
He did finally give up and told me I could get a dog.
I think it will be great for him, once he warms up to her.
He was so attached to Zoe and Sisco, our beagles, that I think it may take a little extra time.

But he will.
I mean, seriously.

Just look at this sweet Jack Russell Terrier face.
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She was at a local rescue center, and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on her today. Her name was Sprite, originally. But the girls have already named her Lucy Princess — or Lucy for short. And now she is Josie…poor dog is going to have an identity crisis.

She was set to be euthanized about 2 weeks ago at a shelter in SC, and the Rescue took her in.
I was told she was a JRT mix, but I’m not so sure. I really think she’s 100% JRT — and more excited that she seems to be so calm and mellow-natured.
We need to get some weight on her. Shouldn’t be a problem in this house!

Carys & Cailyn absolutely loved helping Josie investigate the yard and throw balls to her all afternoon.
Andy Josie is just as smitten with them! She paced between their two bedrooms all evening, checking on them. If someone coughed, Josie was right there. If someone rolled over and the bed made a noise, Josie was right there. It was so sweet!

I think we’re all going to have a great time getting to know her!

Calling all triangle-area brain tumor patients!

I think I may have lost my mind — but I have been thinking of doing this for a while.

If you know anyone who has a brain tumor and/or brain cancer or cares for a brain tumor/cancer patient, please  email me.

The reason?
I have been searching for a local support group for Chad. It would be a great asset to him (and our family) to be able to meet and talk with other people in a similar situation.
I have found a ton of cancer support groups in the area, but nothing specific to brain tumors and brain cancer.

I’m thinking of starting a Brain Tumor Support Group in the area.
We need to gauge response before I start this endeavor — and would love to have your help!

I’ll give more details as they become available.

A day at the park

I have grown weary of staring at my computer screen.
I have grown weary of sitting in my kitchen at my desk, deciding which task to accomplish next.
So we (Chad, Cai & I) took a vacation day. Carys went to school (and I even woke up in time to get her on the bus! Success!).
We did have to get some errands out of the way.
But, then…

Then, we played at a park I’ve been meaning to get to for the last three months.
We laughed at each other.
We enjoyed the fresh air.
We had a picnic lunch.

And I recharged my batteries a bit.
I think we all did.

Welcome, Monday.
I’m ready for you now.

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