Ask the Lanfords, v 3.0

I realize I’ve lost a bulk of my readers during my hiatus. I’m sorry. Please come back!

I’ve had time to get my head together the last few days (which can be a very daunting task, let me tell you!) and I want to share some things with you.
I’ve been answering some questions lately – and it dawned on me that other people surely have these questions too. So, here we are.
You mentioned that Chad was cutting his work hours. What does this mean?
It means he won’t be a full time employee  anymore. He’s going part time.
And as far what else it means, we don’t know yet.
We keep insurance, benefits, etc.

Did you hear from the doctor last week?
Um, no. I called every day for a week. I talked to the secretary, who is very pleasant. And as much as I like talking to her, she doesn’t have a medical degree from Harvard in brain surgery. So she’s not a lot of help. She can’t make the doctor or the PA call us….but I hope that she can sway them to call us a little more promptly.
We have an appointment scheduled for November 5th, which is right around the corner. But I really wish I knew what was going on right now.
I am severely aggravated, and am thankful that Chad kind of perked up after his seizure Thursday evening.

What? Perked up? Seizure? Thursday?
Yes. Chad had a seizure Thursday evening while we were outside with the girls. They didn’t notice what was going on, and it was a quick one, about a minute.
I’m not sure why he would feel better after a seizure – maybe it relieves the pressure or something? It’s a new question for his medical team.

How do you keep the girls from seeing seizures?
First of all, they don’t happen that frequently. Thankfully.
And secondly, we try to catch the activity before it becomes a full seizure. Chad can usually feel them coming and we have enough time for me to usher the girls into another room or distract them in some other way. Last week, for instance, I was able to play an impromptu game of hide-and-seek when I realized why Chad had suddenly dropped to the ground. They were so excited about playing the game that they didn’t think twice about Chad being on the ground. The hid and i “counted” long enough for the spasms to stop and all was well.

What are cooking lately? I haven’t seen anything on the Friday Feast.
I’ve been cooking, trust me.
I have some recipes to add – but I just never get around to it. This week – I plan to have a new recipe up this week! Hopefully.
I am in a cooking rut & I would really like some new recipes – please email me your favorites. Please, pretty pretty please?!?!

What’s with the Flickr pictures on the right hand side of the blog?
I finally created a Flickr account. I have meant to do it so many times, but I just never did it.
I’m taking my love of photography a step further and actually putting my work out there for others to see. If they like it, great. If not, that’s okay too. I’m still learning and I still love it. Life keeps getting in the way of my creative side, so I’m hoping for a few new opportunities to help push me.
Keep looking for updates on my new photography site. I have a temporary site right now, but it will be evolving as soon as I find the time.

I’m calling it quits for tonight.
Please email me your questions if I still haven’t answered something you’re curious about.

Comments

skye, October 26th 2009 | Posted in Chatter, featured

The seasons of our lives

This post was originally written for caregiving.com.
I write posts from time to time there, and try to remember to share them with you here as well.

Fall Leaves_full

I love that the weather is changing.

To see the spastic little squirrels gathering, the leaves gradually changing, and the frost in the grass is inspiring.

It feels freeing. It does something good for my soul. It’s all symbolic to me and I feel more connected knowing that the earth keeps on spinning and providing; just like my role as a caregiver.

Seasons provide change; change that is beyond my control. Change that is dutiful, purposeful and direct.

I used to rebel against such change; fight it with every inch of my soul. I’ve since learned to appreciate the change for what it is – an opportunity to embrace the positive things change brings.

And it is the same with our lives; each day wrapped up in a cloak of changing leaves, fresh dew and an undeniable promise that the sunshine will make everything bearable.

Fall
My husband is not feeling his best lately and has had to permanently reduce his work hours. Like the end of Fall, it leaves me wishing for the warmth and leisure of Summer again. It’s sad to see a disease slowly take things from your loved one that they have worked so hard for. However, less work should help him become a little more him again. Extreme fatigue has stolen him from us, and it will be great to get him back on a more regular basis. The quality of time we’ll share as a family will be worth the lack of work hours he puts in.

Winter
I love to see the ice-glazed naked branches in our back yard. They are beautiful and serene, but signify the loss of warmth. We’ve been going through Winter for almost two years, and I am thankful that it’s not been a blizzard. A steady, chaotic and foggy-breathed winter day, yes. But no blizzard. When I start to throw myself a grand ole pity party, I remember that things could always be worse. Winter always ends. And Spring always rushes in.

Spring
My husband’s hair has started to grow back, which has thrilled us both. It’s new hair, like a newborn’s. It’s soft and light. And I can’t refrain from rubbing his head when I get the chance. There are promises being made, just like each Spring when new growth takes over from the icy hold of Winter. In general, he is doing well. Not great, but well. Every once and a while, we see flashes of the person he was before all of this began. And it’s enough to get us through to the next season with some hope.

Summer
I long for the carefree sunny days that enveloped us before the tumors were found. Life was grand. It was simple. I’m not sure when the constant infiltrating rays of Summer will come back to our daily lives. We find a ray of sun here and there, but we need to get a sunburn. We need to be enveloped with the goodness of Summer in our daily lives. We need to bask in it; the daily monotony that is a cancer-free life.

Summer seems to be the time of year I most look forward to.
It’s fitting in our daily life, too.
And it’s always nice to have something to look forward to, isn’t it?

Whatever season you find yourself in, rest assured that there are always sunnier days ahead.

When we have a bad day, we try to find something comforting in it too. There is always a bright side. And there is always a reason to laugh. Always a reason, and season, to hope.

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skye, October 22nd 2009 | Posted in Chad, Chatter, featured

Soccer Star

soccer card

It’s hard to believe there are only three games left in the Soccer season!
Carys has had so much fun learning the game and beating the boys to the ball every Monday night.
We can’t wait fro the Spring league!
Way to go, CareBear! We are so proud of you.

Comments

skye, October 20th 2009 | Posted in featured, the girls

Some News

Today, we met with Chad’s radiation oncologist, just as a follow-up. I haven’t been going to these appointments since radiation ended in July. They were pretty routine; mostly going over labs. And Chad’s labs never change.
Today, though, I went.
Chad’s been having some slight issues lately, and I just wanted to be there. I had questions. And I hoped the doctor would have answers.

Let me back track a little bit.
Last week, Chad had a CT scan and a shunt series of x-rays — those are x-rays that document the entire length of the shunt; his head where it begins, his neck and upper torso, and hi abdomen where the tubing ends.
We saw the images later that day, when Chad brought home a disk to mail to Dr. Tatter in Winston-Salem at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center.
I could tell there was fluid, but other than that, I had no clue what we were seeing.

Today, we found out there is indeed some fluid problem. The ventricles of his brain are pretty dilated, creating pressure and intense headaches.
We also found out that there is no new tumor growth. That is fantastic news!

When we left the office today, I was dialing Dr. Tatter. I’m surprised we haven’t heard from him yet, but I full expect to hear from him on Tuesday.

Chad and I are expecting a trip to Winston-Salem in the near future, although Chad would like to put it off until his next scheduled appointment November 5. Trust me, I won’t be able to wait. If he needs to go, I will drag him there myself.

So, what symptoms is he having?
Many. Lots. And they vary; sometimes they are overwhelming. Sometimes he’s only aware of their presence if I ask him about it.

Fatigue. Sever fatigue. So severe that Chad will no longer be able to work a full 40 hour work week.
He goes to bed at 9pm. He can barely scrape himself out of bed by 9am. And that’s not normal.
It’s especially hard to carry on a conversation with him after work; he’s just so drained that talking is near impossible until he’s had a nap. And even then, it’s difficult.

Intense headaches. He has tried several prescription pain killers and nothing seems to take the edge off. Talk about miserable…

Memory issues. He can, generally, remember things that happened a short time ago. But, in the last month or so, I’ve noticed that he’s having difficulties recalling things that I wouldn’t expect. And it’s not like I can jog his memory to spark it — it’s just gone.

Personality changes. In the last month, his mood has shifted. Dramatically. He’s still very unopinionated, which hasn’t changed much since the surgery in March. I’m not the only one who has noticed it either, so I know it’s not my overactive imagination.

Abdominal pain. It gets worse. Then gets better.
He had a battery of tests last month; nothing was discovered. But now it appears it could also be a shunt problem.

We know there is a shunt pressure issue; but we don’t know what it means quite yet.

So, now we wait. Again.
I’ll be sure to update when we hear from Dr. Tatter’s team.

I’ll leave you with a Good News picture.
Chad’s hair is growing back.
This was a few weeks ago, and there’s a lot more now.
We were so afraid it wouldn’t come back….and we are so thrilled that it’s growing!
10035_154511235058_684795058_3188255_1545335_n copy

Comments

skye, October 19th 2009 | Posted in Chad, featured

What we’ve been up to…

I have my laptop back! I have never been more excited in my life…with the exception of my wedding day & birth of my children. And well, I just said that so I wouldn’t catch any flack for having such a love for my little gadget. I jest. Kind of.

We’ve had so much going on the last few weeks.

So let’s just get on with the update by family member…

Carys is absolutely loving school and cannot wait to go each day. It took us some time to get there, but I have to say I am thrilled she is finally enjoying it.
We are reading so much that I think my voice is going to disappear any day now.
Being in school also has its disadvantages, like germs. Carys just went back to school today after battling the flu since Saturday. Poor baby. She is feeling so much better today and she couldn’t wait to see all of her friends this morning. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that her teacher told me that 11 of her classmates are out with the flu. That certainly makes for a smaller class!
She rode the bus to school for the first time last week and absolutely loved it. I’ve agreed to let her ride two days a week (the mornings I don’t have to get Cailyn up & ready). She is super-stoked about that. Me? Not so much, but at least the ride to school is short. The ride from school — let’s just say I will continue to pick her up. I can’t see her staying out of trouble when boredom sets in on a 1.5 hour bus ride home.
She started soccer last month & is LOVING it! I am so glad we’ve found something she likes to do.

Cailyn also loves preschool. She is very upset that she can’t go five days a week like Carys does.
She is making new friends and is eager to dish about everyone’s fashion choices when I pick her up in the afternoons. She is such a girl — and it’s apparent to me already that Chad & I are going to have our hands full when she turns 12. Or 8. Or 4.
She finally had dental surgery last week and did fabulous. She is sporting four new teeth, ala crowns. Her little smile looks different to me, but that’s okay. The x-rays didn’t show any other damage, so my sweet girl shouldn’t be prone to bacterial-induced cavities. The dentist definitely confirmed our suspicions about nursing with uncontrolled diabetes.
Cailyn can’t wait to play soccer — or dance. I think we’ll sign her up for ballet once soccer ends for Carys.

Chad is doing okay. There are a few new issues that we’re trying to resolve, but he is doing alright.
He actually had a CT scan and some x-rays done today and we hope to hear from his neurosurgeon in a couple of days. Long story short, it appears his shunt is not working properly, causing him to be dizzy, severely fatigued and a little more forgetful than normal.
His hair is starting to grow back and we’re thrilled! He must be getting tired of me rubbing his noggin, but I can’t help it. The hair is soft and feels like a newborn’s head – very downy. It’s coming in a bit darker than before, but I think that has a lot to do with him not being in the sun at all this Summer. I bet he’ll have most of his hair back in time.

And I am, too. Staying busy. Staying tired. Staying hopped up on caffiene and sugar to keep me awake long enough to get everything done that needs to be done. And I still never get it all done.
But I try. And often fail.
Ah, well.

I’m working on some revisions to this site, as well creating a new site for my fledgling photography business. More details on that to come…
As far as this site goes, I will be keeping things to same for the most part, but I do have to find a better way to display images. All in due time.

That’s our update. And I promise to be back waaaaaay more often. I’ve been going through withdrawls because I wanted to share so many things and didn’t really have the time, energy or ability to do so for nearly a month.

Comments

skye, October 14th 2009 | Posted in Chad, Chatter, featured, the girls

Where are the Lanfords?

Where have we been this month?
I wish I could say we were on vacation.

But, no.
We’re just busy with school.
And my laptop died.
That pretty much sums it up!

School is going great for both girls. Carys is finally in her groove and is loving Kindergarten.
And Cailyn isn’t very happy taht her school is only open for 3 days per week. She would live there if she could.
Carys started soccer last week – and loves it! She’s already talking about Spring soccer, and I really hope she continues to love it.

Chad is doing well.
He’s had a bunch of tests for a mystery pain in his belly — but we still don’t know the cause.

I celebrated my 30th birthday at the beginning of the month (Labor Day), and I have tons to tell you about that.
I baked a cake for Chad’s co-workers as a Thank You – more to come on that.

I have tons of pictures to share with you – at some point.
My poor little laptop is trying to come back to life. I miss it – and I am so behind on everything because of it’s current difficulties.

I’ll be back – at some point.
I just didn’t want you all to think something terrible had happened here…well, it did. Thankfully, I was able to save all of my important files on my computer before it went kaput.
Sweet technology.
I hate you.
And I love you.
And I miss you!!!!

Comments

skye, September 21st 2009 | Posted in Chatter, featured

Adventures in Preschool

Right now, I have a tiny little preschool princess sacked out on the couch.
She is exhausted!

This morning did not go how I expected it to, surprisingly.
I thought Cailyn would enjoy her first day of preschool with me right along side her. We affectionately call her my third leg because she is permanently attached to it whenever she is around other people. It takes her a while to warm up to people. I never thought I would get out of that classroom without tears, screaming and a mini-nervous breakdown (me & her!).

But today, my friends, she surprised me.
She cried for a few minutes, but she calmed down quickly and met her new classmates.
I snuck out of the room while she was busily coloring with her new BFF Sarah.

When I picked her up, she told me it was the best day ever! and she can’t wait to go back tomorrow.
“I wub my teacher….I wub my new fwends….and I wub my lunchbox. But can I not have applesauce tomorrow? And I want to wear this dress again tomorrow, Mommy!”
a3 copy
Her little dress, by the way, was only the 12th wardrobe change. I swear, she is going to be a handful when she starts high school. I can already see it — the fights about her clothes and hair.
She spent all day yesterday deciding on the perfect outfit for school because wanted to look “special“.
Funny, funny girl.

Now, I just have to teach her not to put half-eaten bananas back into her lunchbox — what a mess surprise that was!

a2
I am so excited to have at least one child who loves to go to school.
Carys cried again this morning, but I hope it will get easier for her this week. She needs to get into a routine quickly.

Comments

skye, September 8th 2009 | Posted in featured, the girls

First day of kindergarten

a1
Carys was so excited this morning – she couldn’t wait to eat breakfast, get dressed & GO!
She was a little quiet on our drive to school, so I was sure to keep her entertained. We listened to her favorite songs as loud as we could — and she sang her little heart out.

She has memorized the landmarks to school already. so she knew when we were getting close. There is a pasture with some brand new baby horses she seeks out.

a2
She told her little sister to be brave today without her, and that she would see her right after school.
That little conversation melted my heart.
She is such a great big sister — and Cailyn definitely missed her today.
I cannot count the times I heard: “Is it time to get Carys yet?”, “I wonder what Carys is doing…”, “Where is Carys again?”

a3
We arrived, and I begged Carys to slow down long enough for me to get a decent picture.
Ah, well.
The sun was in her eyes and she couldn’t be bothered to give it another try so I could get a better angle – so this is what we have!

We made our way down the long hallway to her classroom, where she posed by the bulletin board for me.
And then she walked in.
She grasped my hand a little tighter and looked to me for instruction.
I told her to find her cubby and we would unpack her stuff — and then we’d find her seat.

She is right in front, the first table.
She sat and glanced around the room.
And I saw the look of bewilderment on her face.
She was overwhelmed.

I doled out a few rounds of hugs and kisses, told her how proud I was of her for being so brave, and promised to be back very soon to pick her up.

And, then…
Her lip trembled.
Her voice cracked.
And then the tears welled up in her eyes.

Cailyn gave her sister a hug, and then we let Carys’ teacher take over.
All the way back to the parking lot, Cailyn told me she hoped Carys would be okay, and “shouldn’t we check on her because she was crying?”
I reassured the little one that it was okay and we would pick Sissy up very soon.

I worried all day whether or not Carys would have a good day.

At 3:45, we sat in the carpool lane, waiting as patiently as we could for CareBear to make her way to us.

And there she was.
Smiling.
And happy.
And clearly not traumatized from me leaving her at school by herself for the first time.

a5
Cailyn bought Carys a big girl gift for completing her first day of school — some Hannah Montana lip gloss that is currently a very treasured commodity around this house.

Oh, and Carys claims she’s ready (and willing) to do this school stuff again on Tuesday.
She promises she won’t cry…well, maybe just a little…

Stay tuned for Cailyn’s first day of preschool next week.
It’s going to be…..interesting.

Happy Labor Day weekend, everyone!

Comments

skye, September 4th 2009 | Posted in featured, the girls

To my Sweet Carys

I tucked you into bed about an hour ago, and you were ready. You were ready to go to bed – we’ve had a very full day. We played, we shopped, we went to the movies. And you were blissfully happy.

I just checked on you, and you were fast asleep. But you were mumbling to yourself, which you often do when you are anxious about something.
Sometimes, I stay and listen to your night mumbles. I so desperately want to know what it is your little mind is preoccupied with. But tonight, I already knew.
Today we did everything we could, as it was our last real day of Summer.

a009Tomorrow, your life will change forever.
You are embarking on a challenging (and fun!) path.
Kindergarten.

I know you are going to do so well; and I look froward to you teaching me a few things this year.

I can’t help but wonder how this next year will change you.
I am excited for you. I’ve had you all to myself for the last five-and-a-half years and I am confident that your daddy & I have done a terrific job. You are so prepared — and I can’t wait to see the sparkle of kindergarten confidence in your little blue eyes.

I am getting teary just thinking of how much things are about to change.
You will be more independent than you already are.
You will know things that I didn’t teach you — which I’m sure will come with a side of sass.
You will meet new friends that you will treasure. There will be sleep overs. And birthday invitations. And fun!
You will develop an understanding of things outside of our little bubble; outside our little family of four. The world is bigger than us, as you’ve guessed. But now, you’re really going to discover it.
You will learn. And do. And be….so many things. All at once.

a012

It’s terrifying for you, I’m sure.
But I am so proud of you and I can’t wait to see what you’ll do with your opportunities this year.

I simply cannot wait to pick you up tomorrow afternoon and hear about your first day of kindergarten.

Spread those wings, baby.
I’m right here, hugs waiting.

Comments

skye, September 3rd 2009 | Posted in featured, the girls

Friday Feast: Cheeseburger Quesadillas

This meal came to me as I was craving a cheeseburger the other night.
I love good, all-American cheeseburgers — who doesn’t?!?
Diabetes slows me down a bit in the kitchen, so  I try to reinvent my favorite meals with less carbs.
Sometimes I create something good. Sometimes, well. It’s just not quite as good. This little recipe is a win-win for everyone, though.
My husband loved this easy meal — and my kids couldn’t wait for me to make it again. And I got the meal I was craving without the insane spike in blood sugar.
I hope you enjoy!

Cheeseburger Quesadillas
b104
1 pound ground beef
seasonings you would use for burgers on the grill
pickles, chopped fine
1/4 onion, chopped fine
tomatoes, sliced or chopped fine
shredded cheese, your favorite variety
flour tortillas
condiments

Crumble beef in a skillet. Add your favorite burger seasonings; A-1, steak seasoning, salt & pepper – whatever you like.
Brown completely, drain & set aside.
In a different large skillet or griddle, prepare tortillas. I like to spread a teeny layer of margarine on one side. Chad likes to use Pam. Whatever your preference.
Build quesadillas to your liking.
To keep everything in place during the flip, I found it helpful to spread a little mayo on one side on the tortillas, face up. Layer beef, pickles, onions, tomato. Sprinkle cheese. Squirt ketchup & mustard if desired.
Fold the other side of the tortilla over to form a half-moon.
Cook on medium heat until cheese is melted and tortilla starts to brown slightly.
Flip to the other side and brown it, too.

You can also add a little lettuce after you cook the quesadillas. Just lift one side & slide the lettuce in.

All done!
Yummo!!!

Comments

skye, August 28th 2009 | Posted in Cooking, featured
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