There are definitely days that are harder than others.
Today is one of those days.

This year is full of dates that I try so hard to ignore. Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries
Even though I try to busy myself around dates that were, and still are, important to Chad and I, memories get the best of me.
It usually begins with tears – and ends with laughter, which is the way I prefer it.

Tears for the hard, sad truth that things will never be the same.
Laughter for the memories that will forever bring joy to my heart.

Today, Chad & I would have celebrated ten years of marriage.
The date is still circled on my calendar.

Last year, despite his difficulty communicating, he wanted to take me out to dinner.
(I put together a small slideshow of our life for our anniversary last year – you can view it by clicking here.)
I cherish that last date – and the fact that he insisted we go as a family to the very place where he asked me to be his wife.
It was the last time we went out as a family before he was moved to Hospice on August 17, 2010.

My heart is flooded with memories of our wedding day; how happy and young and hopeful we were.
No children yet, no mortgage, no joint checking accounts.
No pain or fear or regret.
Just love and hope.

There are so many things I want to say, but today, I am keeping it to myself.

Thank you for the well wishes and kind words today.
I do appreciate them immensely.

The girls and I are having a good day.
We have dinner reservations at our special place, just the three of us.
We’re skipping the traditional menu and opting for dessert only.

After all, life is too sweet to eat dessert last.
I plan to savor every tiny bite.

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