This post was originally written for caregiving.com.
I write posts from time to time there, and try to remember to share them with you here as well.
I love that the weather is changing.
To see the spastic little squirrels gathering, the leaves gradually changing, and the frost in the grass is inspiring.
It feels freeing. It does something good for my soul. It’s all symbolic to me and I feel more connected knowing that the earth keeps on spinning and providing; just like my role as a caregiver.
Seasons provide change; change that is beyond my control. Change that is dutiful, purposeful and direct.
I used to rebel against such change; fight it with every inch of my soul. I’ve since learned to appreciate the change for what it is – an opportunity to embrace the positive things change brings.
And it is the same with our lives; each day wrapped up in a cloak of changing leaves, fresh dew and an undeniable promise that the sunshine will make everything bearable.
My husband is not feeling his best lately and has had to permanently reduce his work hours. Like the end of Fall, it leaves me wishing for the warmth and leisure of Summer again. It’s sad to see a disease slowly take things from your loved one that they have worked so hard for. However, less work should help him become a little more him again. Extreme fatigue has stolen him from us, and it will be great to get him back on a more regular basis. The quality of time we’ll share as a family will be worth the lack of work hours he puts in.
I love to see the ice-glazed naked branches in our back yard. They are beautiful and serene, but signify the loss of warmth. We’ve been going through Winter for almost two years, and I am thankful that it’s not been a blizzard. A steady, chaotic and foggy-breathed winter day, yes. But no blizzard. When I start to throw myself a grand ole pity party, I remember that things could always be worse. Winter always ends. And Spring always rushes in.
My husband’s hair has started to grow back, which has thrilled us both. It’s new hair, like a newborn’s. It’s soft and light. And I can’t refrain from rubbing his head when I get the chance. There are promises being made, just like each Spring when new growth takes over from the icy hold of Winter. In general, he is doing well. Not great, but well. Every once and a while, we see flashes of the person he was before all of this began. And it’s enough to get us through to the next season with some hope.
I long for the carefree sunny days that enveloped us before the tumors were found. Life was grand. It was simple. I’m not sure when the constant infiltrating rays of Summer will come back to our daily lives. We find a ray of sun here and there, but we need to get a sunburn. We need to be enveloped with the goodness of Summer in our daily lives. We need to bask in it; the daily monotony that is a cancer-free life.
Summer seems to be the time of year I most look forward to.
It’s fitting in our daily life, too.
And it’s always nice to have something to look forward to, isn’t it?
Whatever season you find yourself in, rest assured that there are always sunnier days ahead.
When we have a bad day, we try to find something comforting in it too. There is always a bright side. And there is always a reason to laugh. Always a reason, and season, to hope.